Discover the crucial insights attorney Samantha Gordon and I, host Greg McIntyre, unearth as we delve into why estate planning isn't just a necessity—it's a power move for women, particularly as they approach their late 50s. With a focus on the unique challenges and roles women face, from outliving spouses to spearheading family care, we lay out the pressing reasons for women to take charge of their financial futures. Samantha shares real-life stories from her practice, highlighting the chaos that can ensue without a solid plan, and together, we champion the need for both partners to be actively involved in these critical conversations.
Get ready to raise your glasses and your estate planning IQ with a sneak peek at our innovative Sip and Plan seminar, designed specifically for women who want to blend relaxation with the vital task of securing their legacies. In this gathering of minds, we toast to proactive steps and informed decisions, ensuring women are empowered and equipped with the knowledge to protect their assets. Samantha's expert guidance, encapsulated in our compelling Elder Law Report, leaves our listeners with gratitude and an invitation to explore more at our website, where resources abound for those ready to take control of their estate planning journey.
Discover the crucial insights attorney Samantha Gordon and I, host Greg McIntyre, unearth as we delve into why estate planning isn't just a necessity—it's a power move for women, particularly as they approach their late 50s. With a focus on the unique challenges and roles women face, from outliving spouses to spearheading family care, we lay out the pressing reasons for women to take charge of their financial futures. Samantha shares real-life stories from her practice, highlighting the chaos that can ensue without a solid plan, and together, we champion the need for both partners to be actively involved in these critical conversations.
Get ready to raise your glasses and your estate planning IQ with a sneak peek at our innovative Sip and Plan seminar, designed specifically for women who want to blend relaxation with the vital task of securing their legacies. In this gathering of minds, we toast to proactive steps and informed decisions, ensuring women are empowered and equipped with the knowledge to protect their assets. Samantha's expert guidance, encapsulated in our compelling Elder Law Report, leaves our listeners with gratitude and an invitation to explore more at our website, where resources abound for those ready to take control of their estate planning journey.
Hi, it's Greg McIntyre, a state planning and elder law attorney. This is the Elder Law Report. I have a special Elder Law Report here for you today. I'm pleased to bring you attorney Samantha Gordon, who is a phenomenally bright, brilliant attorney, with our office to talk about women's issues in a state planning. Sam, why should people, women in particular be concerned about women's issues in a state planning?
Samantha Gordon:I think that there are three main reasons why women should be concerned about state planning Specifically. They live longer, they have longer life expectancies, typically 10 years. Then they do men. They're counterpart.
Greg McIntyre:Let's guys check out early. Yes, you do, statistically.
Samantha Gordon:Sometimes earlier. And then there's another reason if they're the caretaker of their family, the family runs because of them, so they really need to consider that with their state plan. And then, lastly, a lot of women put their careers on hold or don't pursue their careers because they're taking care of their children, or they're taking care of their family, or they're taking care of their parents. So that's something that they really need to think about is something where to happen to them or to their spouse. What's going to happen to their families?
Greg McIntyre:So that is reality. These are the issues that we're dealing with. Okay, there's a reason why our target is a 57 year old female, because of those reasons, right? So can you take those individually and tell us what are those issues? How is an estate planning and elder law attorney? Do you apply planning specific to women when they come in your office and they sit with you?
Samantha Gordon:Sure. So first I ask, if they're married, how many children they have? Is their husband going to come to the appointment? Because a lot of the times I have wives sitting in my appointment with me and their husbands are absent. They don't even come to the appointment.
Greg McIntyre:They don't even come to the appointment.
Samantha Gordon:So really to do that appointment, it's very important that both spouses are involved. So sometimes we'll have the husband hop in virtually if available, or just making sure they're both involved. A lot of the times also, it's figuring out who is the breadwinner and the family who handles the finances. And I do have wives that come in. Traditionally it's the husband who's the breadwinner and the wife is taking care of the kids, but I have wives that come in and they're the breadwinner and they're the one that's really thinking about. I handle the finances. My husband may be home or does work, but I'm the breadwinner. How am I going to make sure that my family is taken care of? So a lot of those background questions are very important to actually try and figure out what type of estate plan is going to be good for them. It's not a one size fits all type of thing. So you really need to get down to their background, what their goals are, and then really figuring out why they're here and what they need.
Greg McIntyre:Sure. So bringing your spouse to the appointment, that would be helpful, certainly involving them, talking to them. I think, as a man knowing a little bit more of that mind, I think coming to grips with your own mortality could be an issue. Maybe that's something out of ego or something like that, where you really have to face your own mortality. Maybe there's a little taboo there, just like that, just as far as thinking, okay, if I do my will, for example, is a statement I hear then like I'm going to. Or if my dad does his will, or my husband does his will and thinks about that like he thinks it's going to somehow bring about his death or something You're like you know that's not a thing, right, you know, really it's bringing about potential tragedy or tough times or emergency situations if we don't plan and we leave our families in a lurch with no plan.
Samantha Gordon:Yeah, it's really taking the burden off of your family as well. It's also taking away a possibility of litigation, because there's not a clear plan in place that actually says what this person wanted to happen.
Greg McIntyre:So I talked about that a lot lately in relation to some other things. It's you know, when you don't talk about the uncomfortable things that you need to talk about, it leaves confusion for everybody else. When you don't lay clear plans and legal documents like last will and testaments, trust, general, durable Powers of Attorney, where you appoint agents and you talk to them about their role and duty, healthcare powers of attorney when you don't do that, you really leave confusion for everyone else and what results in that? Many times I would say the majority of the litigation cases that we take on are a result of lack of communication, clarity and a failure to put that down in writing in a way that is drafted tight right, legal in that state under North Carolina law and you've really been clear about what you want to do with your assets and how things work. It leaves a lot of wiggle room for family members to argue. It sets them up for confusion and what comes out of confusion mistrust. What comes out of mistrust drama. That's the stages. Okay is exactly how it works.
Greg McIntyre:I know a business coach that I worked with, bob DeMers, has taught me that for years and after 13 years of working with him, I finally got it, bob, you would be proud, okay, but that's exactly what we see in our litigation department all the time. And I think maybe, and why are the women of the household, or obviously single women, that are in charge? That's you know. But let's say, if you're a married female, why are you the one that really takes action? I think you hit on some of that maybe isn't scared as much of their own mortality, or just maybe just sees the situation more in its face with that reality. I don't know. I'm trying to think of what that is that really might have been.
Samantha Gordon:I think it's because women are awesome. That's why Because women are awesome, I mean, I know.
Greg McIntyre:Number one, I totally agree okay. Number two. I think there's definitely some reason something to that, though, why they are willing. There has to be, like, a threshold of activation. There would be a threshold of activation for a man to engage.
Samantha Gordon:I don't think women have that threshold.
Greg McIntyre:There's a threshold of activation for a woman.
Samantha Gordon:I think it's just innately within us to activate.
Greg McIntyre:It's just more built in.
Samantha Gordon:Yeah, it's just more built in to activate. I think that if something happens with our children, something happens with our parents. I think that innately we have that caretaker trait within us to just activate.
Greg McIntyre:Is fear an element of that as well? I?
Samantha Gordon:do think, fear. I think that women have a Paying attention to how you feel. Yeah, well, I also think.
Greg McIntyre:I think that could be at the core of it is that women are maybe a little bit more used to culturally being in touch with our feelings and expressing those.
Samantha Gordon:Yes, but I also think that we look into the future a lot more than men do. I think men live more in the present, whereas women can look into the future. So they're thinking about oh you know, I'm at my kid's soccer team game, this is great what happens if, like, we got into a car accident on the way here? You know like they think about those things, and then they also think about the future Me.
Greg McIntyre:I'm just speeding with no seat belt. You're just speeding like I gotta go. I'm late, yeah, like I gotta go. My wife's in the car, like she's like holding on, like what are you doing?
Samantha Gordon:The kids are in the back air blowing back, yeah, so I just think that women just have that within them to look into the future, make sure that things are being taken care of. You know, I personally have four-legged children, but my friends that do have children, they, you know I see my friends, their women, and it just amazes me what they're able to do. And I've had a lot of my friends come to me and ask me questions like hey, something happens to me, who's my child's guardian? Like I have no idea what would happen and I don't think that my husband would be able to do what I do right now handling a job, juggling the kids.
Greg McIntyre:Yeah, with everything that's going on, yeah, those roles and responsibilities. I think in life we do get put in these cultural roles and responsibilities not everyone right, but just you know the norm, right, and yeah, that puts us in different life roles and different perspectives. So, man, step up, start planning and looking at the future and with the reality being that the majority of women are taking on that role as caregiver and looking for that, yeah, I also think to the point of a single mom or maybe someone that doesn't have kids.
Samantha Gordon:So, for example, for a single mom, if that individual does not have someone else that's out there that has custody of that child, parental rights or terminated, there's a situation where they're just really the only parent. That's even more of a reason to have some type of documents in place to make sure that that child or children is taken care of. And then, even if you're single and you don't have kids, if you have a dog, like me, I have too, you know, making sure that what's gonna happen to those?
Greg McIntyre:dogs, pet trust.
Samantha Gordon:Pet trust yes, exactly.
Greg McIntyre:Which you could have as testamentary trust within a will Correct, or a separate trust just for your pets. And you name a caregiver that's gonna take care of your pets and whatever pets you have at the top, correct?
Samantha Gordon:And you can allocate money to make sure that they're taken care of.
Greg McIntyre:Making sure that they have their vet information, healthcare insurance plans for pets, there's all kind of things. I have that yeah.
Samantha Gordon:Yeah, and also making sure that if you are single, you do not have children. If you get into a car accident, who's going to the hospital and making medical decisions for you? Is that gonna be your parents? If you do not have parents around, who's gonna do that for you? You know, having these documents in place for a possibility of a tragedy is just very important to make sure that someone has legal authority to make those decisions for you. And then also making sure that things are gonna be taken care of.
Greg McIntyre:Because if not, everything freezes and then you know if you're to a point. If something happens to your husband there's a stroke, a fall, an accident he's in the hospital, needs extensive care, maybe incapacitated or incompetent for an extended period of time, it sticks to wife or a spouse, you know, or you know, mother of children, things like that in a position where there's no access to funds that are just allocated to him. And there's this huge misconception out there that because I'm his wife or I'm a spouse, that I have access to those assets. You do not have access to 401ks or individual retirement accounts, iras. You might be a beneficiary, but that doesn't activate until somebody dies.
Greg McIntyre:So that's stuck. You can't take out a home equity loan to fix the house, pay for care, whatever you needed to do. You couldn't sell the house because it takes both of you to sign the deed or the deed of trust that you would sign along with the bank notes to get a loan. You're just really stuck with real estate, any accounts that are specifically allocated to your spouse, and that's a tough position to be in. So what people don't realize is that a large part of estate planning is not about after you're dead or gone. It's about caring about yourself and us caring about you during your life and how to manage that, to give you flexible options even to engage in protective planning if you've yet to do so. There's so many aspects of that.
Samantha Gordon:I think it's also making sure that the right person is going to be in charge. So, something were to happen to you and your spouse, you're driving to the soccer game and something happens to both of you in the hospital, who is managing your finances for you If you have minor children? It's not going to be your children. Is it going to be your sister that you haven't talked to in 10 years? Is it going to be someone that you've pre-planned in a document to make sure that they have the legal authority to make those decisions? You know, those are also just things that we don't sometimes think about wanting to make sure that the right person has the legal authority to make those decisions.
Greg McIntyre:Yeah, or else you're relegated to maybe fighting other family members for guardianship or the state right, Like you know, DSS as to who in the court system for who should be in charge of this person's money. I mean, that's a tough situation to be in. You can avoid that, though, very easily. It's very minimally invasive to do that and cost effective to get that done. Well, you know, is there anything else that you want to put out?
Samantha Gordon:Yeah, I will be hosting a girls night that will be starting in 2024. It is a Sip and plan seminar. I'm very excited we are going to SIP and talk about estate planning, estate administration and how to ensure that women specifically protect their assets. I'm very excited to be doing that.
Greg McIntyre:Sam, thank you for a very, very compelling and interesting Elder Law Report today. Stay tuned next week for another interesting topic on the Elder Law Report. See you soon, visit mclderlawcom slash women to learn more. There's a great guide that Sam's written on women's issues in estate planning. Learn more about that SIP and plan event, and it's just a really cool place for information for women in estate planning.
Samantha Gordon:See you there.